Of Shoot 'em Up (and Crank)

Alright here we review number 2 of the day. A friend lent me this movie, purely because we both enjoyed Crank. Crank was just pure action. Movies like The Matrix and Lord of the Rings can have an awesome action scene backed up with a really cool plot. Crank and likewise Shoot ‘em Up (hence forth known as Shmup) have pure balls to the walls action and almost no plot. Anyone who listens to IGN’s GameScoop podcast will know that Crank has been called the greatest video game film ever, despite not being based on a video game. And really it is. It just captures that feel that so many video games have (particularly a franchise like Duke Nukem). I mean there’s a guy who injects him self with adrenaline whilst in a hospital mighty (meaning no back) who then jumps on a bike, proceeds to stand on the handlebars with a raging hard on. This is just a five minute segment from the movie. There’s also a sex scene set in public in Chinatown where our hero can’t even get it up, and when he does he proceeds to give it to his girlfriend on a post-box to the pleasure of a bus load of Japanese school girls. Hardly the stuff of Oscars, but if you just want to switch off for a while then Crank is definitely a movie I would recommend (if only because it doesn’t take itself at all).

I thought Crank would be the most over the top movie ever…and then I saw Shmup. Dear lord the movie is just action. There is some sort of story…I think? There’s something about a baby, government officials, diseases, gun running, lactating prostitutes and rabbits. To be honest I wasn’t really paying attention to the story. To busy surfing the net (I know bad habit when watching a movie but I got the entire plot and got to see all the action scenes). I did look up when there was an explosion or something (believe that was quite frequent). There’s nothing really I can say about the movie. Everything is just adequate, the acting, the direction, the story. It’s not terrible just average. If you like over the top action then sure go watch it. However because there’s not much to say here’s some scenes from the movie (pretty much all you need to see).



Umm that’s it. Shmup is alright. Not great, not shit, just alright. Crank is definitely more enjoyable. Better story and is a whole lot funnier than Shmup. Not that Shmup isn’t funny, there a few laughs, just not as many as Crank. Since this entire review has been about both films I’m going to give both a score so:
Shoot ‘em Up = 5 out of 10
Crank = 7 out of 10

If you can only go see one pure action movie go see Crank, it’s just more fun (hence why I only described two scenes from the movie instead of posting a myriad of clips). Here's the trailer for Crank anyway